Sweet Serenity

I miss old friends. :(

This rain is making me so tired. And so sleepy for that matter.

How can I possibly look away?

"When you trust someone, trust her/him completely, for at the end, you get one of two things: Either a lesson for your life or a very good person."
- Corazon C. Aquino

* got the message loud and clear. ;)

"Diyan naman magaling ang mga lalaki eh, sa patay malisya!!"
- Eunica Dee.

hahahahahahahaha. nuff said. :))

I've realized that it's okay to be sad. It's not something we should avoid. Kasi, kapag pinagtakpan natin nang pinagtakpan yung nararamdaman nating kalungkutan, lalo itong lalabas at mas titindi pa. So, savor nalang natin yung mga times na malungkot tayo. Because the next time we hurt, it wouldn't be as hard as the last time. Letting our hearts feel pain is a part of moving on.

Kahit na mawala yung bagay na masyado nating pinapahalagahan, may mga binibigay pa din si God. Tiingin tingin tayo sa paligid, ang dami pang nagbibigay kasiyahan satin.

I think God is teaching me not to set my heart on just one thing because by doing that, I fail to recognize His other gifts. So even if there are trying times, I'll always be happy.Ü

My Saturday went fairly well. :)

Had a visit from old friends and met some new ones. Will go to SM later with my mom.

It's raining again. Uh-huh.

Finally it's Friday. Gonna enjoy my weekend, that's for sure. :) Not so thrilled about Monday. Oh well, that's still two days away. I won't let it spoil my weekend.

*Sleep*Eat*Play*

Ha! This is the life. :P

It rained. Uh-huh. But why is it so hot? Irritating. :

Not so thrilled for tomorrow. I'm going to find out my grade for programming. I hate that subject. All I can do is try to live with it, for everybody's sake.

I'm so tired. I forgot the hand outs I was supposed to read SO I have to wake up earlier tomorrow to study. My class is 7 am. Bummer.

--VACATION--VACATION--VACATION--GRADUATION--.

I think I'm beginning to hate tha rain. : I miss the sunlight. But I love the cold. Yeah, life IS full of contradictions. :P

Just got home. So tired. Today I bought a dress for my bestfriend's debut. Good for her. She's finally gonna be a lady. I'm really proud of her.

Right now I want to be alone somewhere. Somewhere where I could write and read as I please. But it seems that having some time alone is now a luxury for me. It seems that whatever I do, someone is looking. Scrutinizing. Sometimes I want to build a cocoon around me and come out when I've taken control of my life.

But don't get me wrong. I am happy. Just wondering what I could have been if things were different. But not that I want to change anything. I love my life. When it comes right down to it, I am pretty much blessed. And I thank God for that.

My faith is strengthened everyday. With every trial, every fear, every pain I face I am strengthened. I learn something new. I think that's the thing I really need. Nothing else.

"When you make something of yourself, things will start to change, just wait."

- Mrs. Evelyn Obo Rayos :)

Why is it that I find it so hard to wait? If I have to wait for something I'd get really restless until I get what I want. I want to change it, and I think God is helping me. Right now, He's asking me to wait for a lot of things. It's really, really hard, but I know God will see me through. It might take a long time before I completely change my ways but that's alright, God is giving me a lot of time. With God's help, I can surely overcome this. :-)

Strange how some things can dig up all the old memories, even though you know they shouldn't.Ü

The car lights were dancing as they passed me by. In it were men and women each with their own unique stories. So many different people, so many different experiences. It was then that I realized something that I may have known a long time ago, but was so conceited to admit: IT'S OKAY NOT TO UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING. The answers will be revealed at the right time.

Totoo nga naman na ang mga bagay na nais ng Panginoon ay mangyayari kahit ano pa mang pigil ang gawin natin. Ilock man natin ang pinto- padlock, double lock, kadena o tanikala pa man ang gamitin ay sadyang mabubuksan ito. Kahit ano pa man ang mangyari, dapat tayong magpasalamat at maging kontento. Hindi lahat ng tao ay kasing palad natin na nakakilala sa Diyos.

Hindi ba't mas maganda at nakakapagpasaya ang mga bagay na bigla na lamang dumadating kaysa sa mga bagay na inaasahan natin? Madalas dito nagmumula ang lubos na makakapagpasaya sa atin.

Masarap isipin na mas "bongga" ika nga ang plano ng Panginoon sa atin kaysa sa mga hinihiling natin sakanya. Kaya't wag tayong malulungkot kung hindi Nya pinagbigyan ang hiling natin, maghintay lang tayo at siguradong mayroong mas magandang ibibigay sa atin ang Diyos.Ü

You may not be the best for them, but to a lot of other people you are. You just have to realize that. Ü

It's hard to walk when your feet are in chains

It's hard to stop when you know you'll do it again

Looking is useless when something blocks your view

Moving forward is difficult when the one holding you back is you

* just something random I made while listening to a song *

Season of snow powder always come
Although we are mixed up with a mass of people
we are looking on the same sky
Blown by the wind, and we are chilled by it

I may not know everything about you
Nevertheless, I've found you among 100 million of
people
There's no proof but I'm very serious of it

It's impossible to live in the same time with no single quarrel
If we can't be honest, happiness and sadness are just meaningless

If the snow powder may whiten deep to our heart
Could we both share our loneliness?

I would press my ear near to your heart
And go down deep into the place where I hear that voice and meet you once again

We want to understand each other
It's me who softly brush the surface
Just by tightly gripping your numb and cold hand
We are tied to each other

Snow powder is too fragile
In front of us, keep on leaving stains on the rough asphalt forever

Snow powder does not rely on time, moving our heart
Nevertheless, I'd still like to keep on protecting you

If the snow powder may whiten deep to our heart
It will cover both our loneliness and return it to the sky...

http://www.animelyrics.com/jpop/remioromen/konayuki.htm

Funny how your past can make you appreciate your present and give you a glimpse of your future. Stumbled over my past today. I guess it's true that your past will never be completely forgotten. It's a mistake to forget it, instead we should accept it and find peace in it.

Find peace in everything.
Find peace in pain, fear and worry.
Find happiness in sadness.
Find rest in weariness.

Starting over again with baby steps. Holding on tighter to the things that matter, and letting go of the rest. By now I know, I'll get there someday.

Just realized something today. Didn't know it would affect me this much...

*Closing my eyes, shutting my mouth, and starting to listen*

Everything's spinning- like a carousel ride gone terribly out of control. I'm fumbling in the dark for something solid to hold on to. I'm slipping, drowning in this bottomless pool.

Everything's changing. Whoever said that change is inevitable is definitely right.
Feels like I'm doing everything wrong. Again, drowning.

Can't I just press pause and just catch my breath? There's nothing else I can do but to run with everybody else. It seems that everyone's pulling me in different directions. I'm ripping.

It's YOU that I hold on to. It's YOU where I pull my strength from. I know that you're the solid thing I've been looking for. Thank you Jesus.

I was planing on buying my mom's present tomorrow. I found this really cute top, and I am sure that she will like it. I already asked her permission to go out tomorrow, and she said yes, the problem is, my grandmother said she'll come with me because she wants to pay our internet bill. O.O I do love my grandmom, but I really can't trust her to go gift shopping with me without "accidentally" slipping and telling it to my mom. -.-

But no need to worry. Time for plan B. What's Plan B? Well, I'm still thinking. T.T

I just can't stop smiling. What a great ending to this day. The smile I have now will last until I go to sleep, until I wake up, until forever.. (hopefully) :))

Thank you Lord for these simple moments that make life so special.Ü

Thinking too much again. Kaya ayaw ko nagpupyat eh. sigh. :|

I'm so exhausted. Just got home from swim class. Today we learned to bubble, to float and to kick. It was my first time to really swim. I don't like swimming, but I'm taking lessons because my PE next semester is SWIMMING. O.O I don't want to flunk PE.

Good thing my high school buddy, Hannah and her sisters were taking swimming lessons too so I had some friends and I didn't feel uncomfortable. Our instructor was really nice. She wasn't rushing us or anything. I met a new friend, ate Rochelle, who was really nice too. :)

At first I really felt nervous, I couldn't relax so I kept on drowning. :)) The next few minutes I started to get the hang of it. I can't wait for my next lesson on Monday.

I'm glad I agreed to take lessons. I can't really see myself next semester, swimming for my grades without any preparation- remember 0% knowledge of swimming. :|

Anyway, I'm really really exhausted. I'll just play for a while, then I'll go to bed.

Mother's Day is coming up and I've been rattling my brain for gift ideas. One idea is promising- I'll treat her to a salon. I'm really wondering how much that will cost.. o.O I desperately NEED to save up. *sigh* Kailangan na magtipid sa load at maningil ng mga utang. hahahaha. :))

May 8 is my mom's birthday; Mother's day is on May 10. Oh the glory of convenience. =D One day to thank her. Gotta give her the best. :)

I am listening to a bunch of old songs right now-- Journey, Remember Me this Way, Friends Forever, Disney. Listening. Remembering. I thought I forgot, turns out they're still here, waiting to be awakened. :)

Looking Back, I wouldn't want to change anything. :)

Life is passing by too quickly. It seems I've spent a long time living with my eyes closed-- living in a dream. Dreams are meant for those that are asleep, I refuse to be asleep. I want to wake up and for the first time, really LIVE.

Look around. What do you see? Despair and sorrow. I look at my life and think of all the things I wish for, I long for. Look at them: those on the street, those wandering around begging for food, I feel so selfish. Complaints have crowded my life these days it seems. I need to change.

Yesterday a man came up to us and asked for food. My mom gave him food to get him through the night. I looked at him dumbfounded. I must have stared too long, lost in my own thoughts. My lola was beside me. He thanked her, then turned to me then hesitantly said, "Pasensya ka na ineng". I don't know why he said sorry. Sorry for being hungry? Sorry for the trouble? The truth is, I should be the one saying sorry. Sorry for being so prejudiced. I said a little prayer. May God Bless you and give you all the riches in the world.

Wake up. Wake up.

My feelings cannot be put into writing. They are too complex, too profound to be narrated. This is the best I could do.

Writing has always been my defense mechanism, my way of coping. There are some things that you just can’t say. But you can write about them. Write away all your sadness, all your sorrows and your pain. Write about your smiles, your joys. Everything. Write about them all. Watch your thoughts form into words. Read them later on and warm your heart.

Hello writing. I've missed you so.

Maybe there are just some things you’re not meant to know. Maybe you just have to back off and hand back the reins.

Let us try not to get ahead of ourselves. Everything is predestined, each detail perfected by our maker. If we are so comfortable in letting a trusted friend take care of our duties, why is it so hard to step back and let God take control? God. Our Savior. Our Maker. He who loves us more than anything else. Think.