Sweet Serenity

Thinking too much again. Kaya ayaw ko nagpupyat eh. sigh. :|

I'm so exhausted. Just got home from swim class. Today we learned to bubble, to float and to kick. It was my first time to really swim. I don't like swimming, but I'm taking lessons because my PE next semester is SWIMMING. O.O I don't want to flunk PE.

Good thing my high school buddy, Hannah and her sisters were taking swimming lessons too so I had some friends and I didn't feel uncomfortable. Our instructor was really nice. She wasn't rushing us or anything. I met a new friend, ate Rochelle, who was really nice too. :)

At first I really felt nervous, I couldn't relax so I kept on drowning. :)) The next few minutes I started to get the hang of it. I can't wait for my next lesson on Monday.

I'm glad I agreed to take lessons. I can't really see myself next semester, swimming for my grades without any preparation- remember 0% knowledge of swimming. :|

Anyway, I'm really really exhausted. I'll just play for a while, then I'll go to bed.

Mother's Day is coming up and I've been rattling my brain for gift ideas. One idea is promising- I'll treat her to a salon. I'm really wondering how much that will cost.. o.O I desperately NEED to save up. *sigh* Kailangan na magtipid sa load at maningil ng mga utang. hahahaha. :))

May 8 is my mom's birthday; Mother's day is on May 10. Oh the glory of convenience. =D One day to thank her. Gotta give her the best. :)

I am listening to a bunch of old songs right now-- Journey, Remember Me this Way, Friends Forever, Disney. Listening. Remembering. I thought I forgot, turns out they're still here, waiting to be awakened. :)

Looking Back, I wouldn't want to change anything. :)

Life is passing by too quickly. It seems I've spent a long time living with my eyes closed-- living in a dream. Dreams are meant for those that are asleep, I refuse to be asleep. I want to wake up and for the first time, really LIVE.

Look around. What do you see? Despair and sorrow. I look at my life and think of all the things I wish for, I long for. Look at them: those on the street, those wandering around begging for food, I feel so selfish. Complaints have crowded my life these days it seems. I need to change.

Yesterday a man came up to us and asked for food. My mom gave him food to get him through the night. I looked at him dumbfounded. I must have stared too long, lost in my own thoughts. My lola was beside me. He thanked her, then turned to me then hesitantly said, "Pasensya ka na ineng". I don't know why he said sorry. Sorry for being hungry? Sorry for the trouble? The truth is, I should be the one saying sorry. Sorry for being so prejudiced. I said a little prayer. May God Bless you and give you all the riches in the world.

Wake up. Wake up.

My feelings cannot be put into writing. They are too complex, too profound to be narrated. This is the best I could do.

Writing has always been my defense mechanism, my way of coping. There are some things that you just can’t say. But you can write about them. Write away all your sadness, all your sorrows and your pain. Write about your smiles, your joys. Everything. Write about them all. Watch your thoughts form into words. Read them later on and warm your heart.

Hello writing. I've missed you so.

Maybe there are just some things you’re not meant to know. Maybe you just have to back off and hand back the reins.

Let us try not to get ahead of ourselves. Everything is predestined, each detail perfected by our maker. If we are so comfortable in letting a trusted friend take care of our duties, why is it so hard to step back and let God take control? God. Our Savior. Our Maker. He who loves us more than anything else. Think.